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You can’t be happy as a couple unless you first learn how to be happy as a single.


Is this the best of me…?

Is this the best of me….the best I can be? And if I work real hard to be the very best I can…will that make me happy?


What really is this love thing?

I don’t really understand this love thing. It’s glorified on TV and Movies, I see couples trying to achieve it but it doesn’t make any sense to me. Is it because I lost both of my parents when I was young? Maybe it’s because I have abandonment issues? It could be that I’m just too cynical and feel sharing emotions makes me weak. Or plain and simple, I’m just not capable of being in love.

This is my struggle – maybe love isn’t for everyone.


Down day…

Yesterday I was really depressed and nothing I did helped. I tried going for a run but I had to stop after 4 km because my emotional state was showing through with body pains. Running normally helps me think and sort out any stresses…it clears my mind but this time it just wasn’t enough. So instead of fighting it I stayed in bed most of the day. I cuddled up to a some good movies and drowned my sorrows away.

Today I woke up feeling much better and even my run showed as well, it was actually one of my best runs thus far. Today I have a smile on my face and I embrace the return of my comical side. All-in-all I guess I needed the day off.



A weekend in Paris…why not! I spent the past weekend in Paris enjoying the city, wines and food. Some of the sights/things I did while there:

- Wine tasking at O’Chateau
- Musee du Louve
- Walk down Avenue des Champs-Elysees
- Arc de Triomphe
- Montmartre
- Le Basilique de Sacré-Crœur
- Notre-Dame and surrounding area
- Flea & Antique market (one of the largest in Europe)
- and lots of great food and tasty wines

Below are some of the video from my weekend:

1. Rémy, our wine sommelier, describing the different French wine regions:

2. Street Entertainment outside Le basilique du Sacré-Crœur:

3. Just before going up the Eiffel Tower:

4. Le Cathédrale de Notre-Dame:

5. Love Locks by Augustin (Discover Walks):

Pics from this weekend can be found on my Facebook page.

Can’t really ask for a better weekend get-away!


My glass is always empty

I’ve realized that my glass is always empty and I seek the company of a guy to fill it. When I’m dating a guy, he’s all I think about and all I want. And my empty glass gets filled with all that is him and then I feel complete. I get completely wrapped up in him, and who he is, that I am a mere reflection or attachment of him and not my own person. If he and I are apart, my glass starts to empty and I long to fill it again with him.

But why do I long for someone else to fill my glass and why is it even empty?

I can only attribute the state of my glass to the many changes in my life. When I decided to moved to the Netherlands, I wanted to change everything that I was, do the things that make me happy and not what was expected of me. I’ve lived a lie for so many years that I don’t even know who I am. I am on a quest to find who I am and the things that make me happy. I want my glass to be full with all the things that I love to do before I seek someone else.

The principle behind these quotes is what fuel my journey…

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.” – Author Unknown

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” – Benjamin Franklin

Living life without self-courtship has a high cost. We risk losing our sensuality, our senses, precious moments with those we love, our smile, and our joy. When we romance ourselves, it prepares a fertile garden for a profusion of love to bloom in all areas of our lives. We regain passion and now becomes a moment not to be missed!” – Corrie Woods


Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man’s man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn’t seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don’t recall the phrase, “Suck my cock” entering the conversation, and I don’t have a sign around my neck that reads, “Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock.”

I’ve got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, I’ve got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he’s sucking my cock!

What is it with these homos? Can’t they control their sexual urges? Aren’t there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who’ve come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I’m afraid he’s going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I’ve even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife—even some that haven’t actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I’m just angry and sickened. But, believe me, that’s enough. I don’t know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don’t want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I’ve tried all sorts of things, but it’s all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn’t work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don’t take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I’m going to have to resort to drastic measures—like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can’t get much more direct than that.

Bruce Heffernan


Weather in the Netherlands

Its another cold and windy day here in the Netherlands. One would think that by the end of May the weather would have really warmed up to the point of shorts…but that is not the case. My colleague, a Dutchman, filled me in on some basic Netherlands weather must-knows:


- The Netherlands doesn’t have true seasons like other countries (i.e. US). Its either cold or not so cold.
- “Summer-ish weather” is really two weeks of mid-20s in June and one week, two if we’re lucky, of mid-20s again in July.
- Enjoy the warm days when we have them because they are few. This is the reason why the Dutch always flock to the beach/park on warm days – to soak it up.
- It always rains…so always be prepared, even if the weather forecast says its not going to rain……..IT WILL RAIN!
- You will go through lots and lots of umbrellas. You either buy them cheap and when they break you replace them, as they often do, or pay a lot of money for a really good one that can take the rain and wind……just don’t loose it!
- For the most part it’s always going to be cold. After years of living here you will get used to the cold and be able to better adjust to it.


However am I sad, disappointed or angry about it? Nope, there are so many other great things about this country that I love that the weather doesn’t bother me one bit (also, I hate the heat).


Eleven years ago

Today, eleven years ago, my mother passed away – May 8, 2000. It’s a day that I can’t forget. I remember the time and place when I found out she had passed. I had just spent the weekend at Six Flags in Atlanta, GA. When I returned home I got a call from my cousin informing me of the bad news. I clearly remember feeling an out-of-body experience and not fully comprehending what was being said. It was hard news because my mother was my ALL. She was the rock in my life. If I had an issue or if I needed to make a decision I would talk it out with her and she would be the voice of reason and she always knew the right thing to do. Everything would be alright, no matter the situation, after speaking with her.

Eleven years ago, Mother’s day, I buried my dear mother, Donna Ingrid Sweeney. Because of this, Mother’s day has always been a sad day for me. I always think back to the times we spent together or funny things she would say but on Mother’s day it all comes rushing back…sometimes more than I can bear without a tear. I try to be a man about it, hold back the emotion and show the brave, strong Tré but deep inside I’m just a big momma’s boy. To this very day I miss her dearly and wish life was different.

This year is especially harder for me because not only is it Mother’s day but its also the day she passed, so I will try to keep my mood up and think of all the good things that my mother has taught me and remember all the good times we spent together.


Roller-coaster of emotions

I’m going through a roller-coaster of emotions. My heart tells me one thing and then there’s my mind that says another. I’m in constant turmoil. And when I think that I’ve got myself stable with both parties happy, I get a text or a call from him and I’m right back to where I started.

It’s been 3 months of getting to know him and going thru this. After every date I’m left feeling confused about what’s going on between us. On some level I feel that I’m closer to him than when I started and then I get reminded that I’m still at arm’s length away. What is going on here?

My heart says, “I like him. He’s cute and sweet. Yes, it’s a weird situation but go for it and see what happens. You are too cautions and ‘by the RULES’ on everything…live a little.” But my mind is screaming, “You know this doesn’t feel right…I know you feel it. The situation is too complicated and you are getting too emotionally attached and it will only end in heartbreak for YOU! Stop it now before you get hurt!!!”

I’m done with this roller-coaster. I like the highs but the lows seem to last forever and I’m just not getting anywhere. I’m the only one on this ride and I’m choosing to get off while I still can. I’m going to side with my mind, heed the warning signs of trouble ahead and turn around and walk (maybe even run) away.

I hope this is the right decision.

Tré Sweeney…..

Welcome to the written documentation of a crazy man. He seems normal to most....but he is slowly un-winding at the seems and will one day explode.

Don't feed the crazies!

Looking down on Amsterdam. #amsterdam #netherlands #adamlookout
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